Australia is a dangerous place and our American cousins know what’s important on a map.

According to Americans posting these maps atreddit.com/r/funny, everything is out to kill humans.

Red = Instant Death. Blue = Likely Death. Convinced?

Who cares what we call our States?

No interest in placing NSW, Victoria, Tasmania, South Australia, Western Australia the NT and ACT in the right place. Ways to die? Easy.

Australia’s oceans teem with killers.

NSW = snakes. Victoria = Spiders.

The interior is basically a death zone.

Stay. Out. Of. The. Centre.

Unless you’re hungry.

Small print: sadly there are no Outback Steakhouses in the Outback.

Oh okay then. This effort is actually pretty accurate.

But, others…

Deserts full of kangaroos? New Zealand swallowed by coral?

Southern Ocean Kangaroos?

No, cacti are not native to Australia.

Some Septics know our cultural icons.

Yes, our Beds Are Burning, Yes we gave the world Nick Cave. And Kylie. And yes,The Kid In Sunglasses Who Throws Great Parties is a True Blue Bloke.

Others really have no idea.

Thanks for your honesty mate. But really? Fail.

Others remember the coastline, but not much else.

Outback Melbourne?

And then there’s the self-educators, who learned everything they know from a Disney movie.

What do you mean you’ve never seen The Rescuers Down Under?

Yes, this is a real address.

Really!?

See.

Small print: this photograph was actually taken at Disney World, USA. Sorry.

Australia beyond our two biggest cities? Not so much.

Tasmania? Not even on the map.

Queensland: home of Tasmanian Devils and Road Runners.

There is a Kangaroo Island, but Tasmania ain’t it.

And Western Australia is doing just fine, thanks.

Mainly cos Perth is protected by a BBQ Proof Fence.

23m people live in Australia. Who knew? Apparently not your average American.

No, Australia isn’t just the USA with no people, and no, there’s no wang. But well done on Sydney.

Over The Ditch? New Zealand aka The Shire.

4.5m Kiwis live in New Zealand. Only a few are Hobbits.

To be honest, Australia is a pretty complex country.

And actually, we’ve got much more in common than you think.

Though our State names are a little baffling.

Close but no cigar. If Redditor Keyserchief had followed through on his own logic, South Australia would have been correctly labelled. And West Australia is almost Western Australia.

Fuckdoodle!? Adelaideans are not amused.

Still, complete lack of geographical and cultural knowledge aside, we like your American depictions of Australia much better than the Pommie ones.

Ho Ho Ho. We may be a nation of convicts chaps, but we’re smashing you at cricket.

Come visit us soon mates. We can’t wait!